Seeking Out Her Heart
by Zutara247lova
Summary: Katara and Aang are having some relationship issues so Katara decides to leave to the Fire Nation to see and help her friend Zuko. She finds it is now hard to decide where she want's to be and how she feels. All she wants is to be happy and loved, but she isn't for sure how. (Rating may change.)


**A/N** I am motivated to write more zutara things but idk if this is what you guys want. I feel like I owe something to all my followers without deleting it, so yeah here you beautifuls go. And yes I'm going to actually work on this one and finish it, as for my other story idk I may delete it, because it needs ALOT OF REVISING and it was just a little silly story i threw together anyways. Anywho I hope you enjoy this story, kinda is like The Fire Lord and the Waterbender except I'm actually trying really hard to make this one better. Uh the rating may change I'm still not for sure so yup just hope you enjoy it. Please don't hate me!

**Disclaimer**: I have no ownership or rights to ATLA that's all Bryke ;)

* * *

Wake up, make breakfast, clean house, sleep, and repeat, wake up, and make breakfast, clean house, repeat, and repeat, _repeat. _It was the same humdrum everyday. Katara would do all these things, in that order, _every single day._ Being the Avatar's girlfriend was not all it was made out to be.

Most days Aang would be gone to carry on about business, as Katara would stay in her specially built house in the west wing of the newly reconstructed Northern Air Temple cleaning up and helping servants in the Avatar's home.

She had lived "next" to Aang, (because La forbid if she lived in the same house with him. It's 'frowned upon' by the monk's way of living.) for about 4 years now. She was 19 going on 20, and Aang was 17 going on 18.

The first two years living by him were good, she would go places with him, and they generally just had fun together, but only for the first two years. The third year was not so great, Aang was gone most of the time doing Avatar duties as Katara stayed back to help around the temple. She eventually grew bored and greatly annoyed in doing the same things every day.

By the time, the fourth year came around Katara grew a little tiresome, and somewhat depressed. Now she still loved Aang, but their relationship was not what it had been 4 years ago, instead every time she would talk to Aang it seemed like it always was the same conversation, and nothing more. She quickly would get aggravated when Aang would ask her what is wrong and she would simply say nothing yet he persisted on getting under her skin. Then she would get into meaningless fights with him, if you could even call them fights, it was more of Katara screaming at Aang and Aang apologizing to her profusely. Yet that just made her angrier. Sometimes Katara liked getting in an argument or hearing him say something other than, "I'm sorry Katara… I love you." Six simple words that always made her want to give up and she did.

It was hell, yet Katara remembered the good moments and then again, she never stopped loving his goofiness and his cheeky little smile, but even that started to fade over the years as she saw him less, and he becoming more known to his duties as avatar, it truly was a struggle.

That was why when Aang returned home today she would talk to him about taking a break, not necessarily break up, they always would have each other to turn back to, but just _distance_ each other for a while. Of course, this made Katara a mess throughout the day as she awaited his return.

She was just an absolute _mess_.

Staying up all night pondering over the situation, but not only was she tired but her daily routine had changed. Instead of cleaning, she spent time in her room thinking, skipping dinners only helping with the dishes. Whenever she got messages, she would put them aside and wait to read them, but of course never did. To bad, she didn't because they were important…

Time was ticking and Katara decided she would personally prepare his favorite meal to ease the news, but that only resulted in burnt vegetables. She eventually gave up, and decided to wait for him in his room.

She wore a dress he bought her a while back as a gift from when he spent his time in Earth kingdom. Unlike how most dresses from the Earth Kingdom are green, this one was pink and white, and she thought it was pretty, but Aang absolutely loved it. Therefore, she sat in his room, anxiously, while drinking her favorite wine.

Katara was not a huge drinker, and Aang definitely was not but when there was a celebration, or when Katara's worried like in this situation, they would always have wine to drink.

Katara sat on the edge of his bed. Her fingers jittered on the glass as she took swigs continuously. Whenever her glass was empty, she would pour more. As she took her last swig of the wine, she reached for the bottle to pour more into her cup, but as she did so she realized that the wine bottle was empty, and she was still alone.

She placed the glass and the bottle down to look around Aang's room. She had only been in there about 5 times in a total of 4 years; Aang persisted on waiting to share a room with her until they were married. (Another reason Katara could not understand anything about Aang, he still HAD NOT PROPOSED.) She saw paintings of her and him when they were younger, _"so happy… what happened." _She thought as tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

She gently swiped them away as she picked up another photo that was not just of her and Aang. She began to smile as she looked at the photos of her and her friends, it truly was a silly picture and probably no one could understand what was going on, but she remembered everything. They were at the beach, and then a man stopped them and told them to pose for a group picture. The struggle was what they wanted to pose as.

Suki was kissing Sokka's cheek, Toph was earth bending, Aang had his arm looped around Katara as he smiled this huge grin, Katara on the other hand was smiling at Zuko , who was looking at her smirking.

She first had to think why she was looking at Zuko and then she remembered….

"Ok guys we should all huddle up and smile!" Katara cheered as they where trying to decide what to do for the picture.

"No! I think we all should do what we want to do for the picture!" Sokka suggested.

"Yeah, I'm, agreeing with Snozzles I really want a painting of me earth bending." Toph agreed.

"Fine, do whatever you please." Katara said giving in.

They cheered and began discussing wondering what they where going to do and getting into their positions.

Katara glanced over at Zuko who just was kicking the rocks.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked him.

Zuko quickly glanced up back at her, and took his hands out of his pockets and scratched the back of his neck. "Oh I'm not one who necessarily good at posing for paintings."

"Oh it's not that bad all you have to do is smile for like two seconds then you're done."

Zuko shrugged and looked back down at his feet. "Yeah well I'm not necessarily the world's greatest smiler so…."

"So you rather look angry and upset?"

"No… I just." Zuko sighed. "I just hate pictures of me they always end up _bad_."

"Well maybe if you smiled then it won't be as bad…" Zuko shrugged again and continued to look down and insecure. Katara frowned wanting to help her friend. "Well…. For all it matters I think you have a stunning smile."

Zuko looked back up at her and smiled. She smiled back, and before they knew it the picture had already been taken.

"Ok! The picture is done! Come look, it's a cute picture! It will be 5 yuans." The man asked them.

They all laughed and joked about the silly picture and just kept it for keepsake and well that was the story. Nothing too big about it, but it did make Katara wonder.

_Did she even notice Aang's arms around her?_

Those types of questions are what lead to the situation today.

She placed down the photo, and turned her attention to the bed, now that was a place where she would like to be on some days, but of course could not. Her fingertips skimmed the soft fabric, thinking about the "what ifs", and thinking about things that could have happen. She sighed knowing that she always knew deep down one day she had to let Aang go.

Then with that Katara heard the too familiar sound of a sky bison flying unto the grounds. Her ears perked up and she quickly turned to look out the window, he was back.

Katara's heart pounded fast against her chest as she ran out of his room, to the front doors to meet him. She stopped at the doors and thought about greeting him and opening the doors and hugging him and then maybe, just maybe her mind would have changed and she would want to keep this relationship going. The other half of her was afraid because she knew that this was going to have to happen, maybe not that second, but she was going to have to tell him how she feels,

She stopped.

Breathed in a deep breath, and slowly opened the heavy metal doors.

She looked across the field and saw Appa and Aang, Aang was talking to servants, who were carrying his bags back up to the temple. Katara step down the steps and locked eyes with Aang. He flashed a huge smile at her, and Katara stood their blinking. Aang hopped down from the bison and ran up to her.

Katara gently smiled as he ran up and embraced her. She hugged back as he whispered in her ear _"I missed you."_

Unable respond, not knowing what to say she just hugged him back.

They sat at opposite ends of the dining room table, while dinner was served. It was complete utter silence as they at their food. Aang would glace up at her and smile very big, Katara would flash him back a quick and pretend smile trying to be nice.

Eventually growing tired of the silence Katara placed down her fork and cleared her throat after swallowing her food.

"So how was your trip sweetheart?"

"Uh, boring, I rather had been here with you then off discussing issues and all that good stuff about the four nations, but you know I have to do my job."

"Yeah…"

"Yeah…"

More uncomfortable silence.

"Uh honey?" They both said simultaneously then chuckling it off.

"You go first Katara."

"Well…" Katara thought about telling him how she feels but felt they shoud do it in a more private place. "Uh… I can wait till we finished dinner."

"Yeah me too, you should meet me in the garden so we can talk more uh…"

"Privatley?" Katara said finishing his sentence.

"Yeah."

They both continued eating and once they were finished Katara helped clean the dishes. When she was finished with that, she went on to meet Aang.

Aang was staring off at the moon with his back faced to her as she walked up to him.

"Aang?"

Aang jumped and quickly turned towards her. "Oh hey Katara, I was just looking at the stars and the moon… Gods they are just _beautiful_."

"Yeah they really are."

Aang looked back at Katara who was staring into the sky next to him. She was glowing in the moonlight he could literally see her aura glow. She was beautiful.

"Katara I need to tell you something."

Katara blinked and looked back up at him and then remembered she had something to needed to tell him too. "Oh yeah… I need to talk to you too."

Aang smiled and brought his hand to her face. "Let me go first."

"Aang…"

"Katara, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever met. It's not just the outside beauty, with your perfect hair, those gorgeous eyes, but you're just as beautiful on the inside as you are out."

Katara felt the lump began to grow in her throat as she listened to him talk. "…Aang…" she whispered.

"Shh… Just listen. You make me happy everyday I get to see you smile and I know I haven't seen you much lately, but I want to put an end to that, I want you here with me, forever." His hands trembled against her cheek as he slowly brought his hands to his pockets, but before doing so, he realized the tears falling from her cheeks. "Katara...?"

"Aang." She she cracked. She shook her head. "Please don't, just… don't." She began to sob.

"Katara, what's wrong…?"

She shook her head and looked up at him with puffy eyes, lips trembling, and hot tears streaming down her cheeks. "Don't say it. Don't ask me please…," she whispered.

Aang stopped and let go of the little box in his pocket and reached up to cup her face again. He rubbed the tears away with the pad off his thumb, and looked at her compassionately. "I don't understand… Listen Katara I love you." That was all it took for Katara to break. She just sobbed harder, reached up to his hand, and rubbed it.

She stifled up all the tears and wiped them away with her other hand as she gently smiled and leaned into his touch. Wincing as she shook her head against his hand.

Aang's heart was about to bounce out of his chest, he was so nervous, and scared. Thinking, what was wrong with Katara?

"Aang, baby, I-I can't say my feelings for you are exactly the same." She choked out.

All the blood in Aang's face had vanished, his breathing stopped, and he backed away from her. "_What?" _He asked sharply.

"I-I-I had been thinking about it for a while and I realized that we just aren't the same as we used to be, I'm not as happy as I once was."

Aang's breathing became quick and short as he shook his head hastily at her, "No, no, no. _**no**_, Katara. How-what…" Aang realized his voice was a pitch high due to the catch in his throat. He was not about to cry. He cleared his throat and regained his composure.

"Katara." he stated with more confidence. "We can fix this. We can work this out, were just having a little difficulties. That is all. I promise you I will try harder. We can fix this. We _will _fix it."

Katara just continued to shake her head. "No, no, no Aang you do not understand! I'm not happy here!-

"Then we'll move somewhere else we don't have to stay here." He walked back up to her and cupped her face again. "_We don't have to stay here_." He whispered, as he started to cry too. "I would travel across the globe if that means I could be with you, heck I have!" He sniffed. "And I would do it again… Katara _I love you_, please let's not do this."

Katara backed away from him, and pulled his hands away from her face. "Aang." She started softly. "I love you too, but I realized this is _not _the life I wanted. You are a great, handsome, and smart young man. You can do perfectly fine without me. I just I don't want this, we just need to take a break from each other, _I _need a break from all this." She gestured to everything. "I just need my space for a little. I still love you but I need to go out and find what I've missed, because Aang, as much as I love you I _can't _live like this."

Aang looked away from her hurt, as if she had just slapped him in the face. "You must really not love me that much then…"

"Aang, no that's not…'

"No! You want to leave, fine leave! If you can't _'live' _like this then leave. I don't need you pretending to like my customs when you obviously don't…It's not the fact you don't just like it here, it's the fact that your love for me isn't enough to suffice staying here with _me…_ so I guess you don't love me at all." Aang turned to leave out the garden.

"Aang, no, that's not it at all! Aang!" She screamed out in frustration. "You're not _understanding_" She persisted,

Aang lightheartedly laughed and turned around. "I'm not understanding? Katara for spirit's sake I've been in love with you since the day I met you, and have tried so hard to get you to love me back. Then when I think that you do, that you actually wanted to be with me, it turns out all this time you were just faking it… Katara. I'm done. As I said, there is no point in you being here. If you want to go, go. I don't want a woman here who isn't appreciative of me."

Katara clenched her fist in annoyance. "Aang… You know what? Fine I will leave, first thing in the morning. However, just so you know I _**do love you**_, and I was trying in the nicest way to tell you I _need space_, but if you want to end it like this then fine. Have it your way. Good bye, and goodnight, Aang."

Then she turned to leave and that was that.

Aang sat in his room crying, as did Katara. Aang sat on the edge of his bed and saw the wine glass, he smiled at the fact she'd been waiting for him, just for the wrong reason. He began to frown again. He sighed and reached in his pocket to pull out a betrothal necklace that he secretly had spent time in the northern water tribe learning how to make one. Katara did not know that was what he had actually been doing while he was gone.

He sighed as he clutched the box and sadly came to terms with the truth. Deep down he always knew Katara didn't love him the way he loved her. He always knew it, but he really wanted it to be a lie.

He did not want her to leave either, but he knew he needed to let her leave. Who else would want to stay after what he said.

He stayed up most of the night wondering what he would say in the morning.

It officially was morning, Katara spent the night crying and packing angrily.

She sat in her room looking at all the bags she packed, feeling as though this was all ridiculous. It had occurred to her that she had no way in leaving, the only way out was by Appa, and she couldn't take him away from Aang. Katara groaned and rubbed her face.

She did not even know where she wanted to go, she had nowhere to go to. She could go to the water tribe, but she did want to visit other places, other than home. In any way, there was no way for her to get there unless it was by boat, but she would need Appa to take her to the dock. Even then, she may not know if there will be a boat scheduled to leave for the water tribe.

She sighed. She should have figured this out and planned it better. As she sulked, she soon realized that she forgot all about the mail she had received. It was lying there by her night stand for endless nights

Going through it she just received her daily subscriptions to certain stores and certain news would be sent to her, but one piece of mail had definatly caught her eye.

It was from the Fire Nation. Strange enough it had been her old friend, Zuko, who had written her. he invited her _and _Aang to come to the Fire Nation, to speak to some of his people there. It said it was okay if they decided not to come, he just wanted his people to hear another voice but his, then maybe they would understand more about why Fire Lord Ozai sucked, and that he didn't. Because not all people in the Fire Nation were happy about the change of leadership.

Even after 4 years, some people still had their doubts.

She noticed that he mention that there should be a boat at the dock nearest to her, for her on the 10th day of the 8th month. Which was today.

Katara smiled, she knew where she was going. Unfortunatley she needed some type of transportation to the docks. That's when she heard a knock on her door.

"Come in ."

Aang leisurely walked in. and sat beside her. Katara quickly folded up the letter and slipped it inside her shirt.

Aang awkwardly scooted by her on the bed, getting close, yet keeping a distance.

"Uh Katara, for starters I'm sorry. I overreacted and instead of shooting you down I should've supported you and talked it over with you. It's just I…" Aang swallowed back the lump in his throat. "I don't want you to leave. I care about you a lot and I will support your decisions no matter what. Whatever it is that we're going through, I want to do what I can to not only fix it, but help you get through it too. I just want you to be happy, even if that means-" He started to choke up, but he held it back. "Even if that means I have to let you go."

Katara turned to him and grabbed his hand with one hand, and cupped his face with the other. "Listen you goof, it's not like I'm leaving forever I'll be back. I just have to go out and clear my head, and try to get things straightened out. Because if I don't, what happened last night, will just happen again and get worse."

Katara hugged him. "I still will love, and care about you. Just not like this, right here, just from a distance."

Aang reluctantly nodded and smiled. He wiped a tear away from the corner of his eye and laughed. "Well I'm happy to hear that…" Aang stopped for a second and thought, with this confused look on his face. "Uh Katara, how exactly where you 'going to leave'. The only why out of here is by a flying bison, and that's Appa"

"I was just thinking about that, I was wondering if you and Appa would be kind enough to take me to the boating docks."

Aang smiled "Sure."

So, of they flew to the docks where Katara found the boat she needed to get on. She arrived just in time they were going to leave with or without her. The crew helped carry her bags and luggage aboard. Katara stood on the port, where Aang walked up to her.

"So I guess this is good-bye." Aang said with a tint of sadness in his voice. He tried really hard not to let her know he was upset.

"No, this is an 'I'll see you again', okay?"

"Okay…" Aang said as if it was his last breath. Katara frowned at his sadness, and just lightly kissed his forehead, then turned to aboard the ship.

Aang watched as she didn't even look back. She made not the slightest falter or movement as the walkway to the boat closed, and Aang was standing there alone.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out that betrothal necklace.

"_Good bye Katara. I'll always love you."_

And with that he left the port and got back on Appa, secretly vowing to himself one day he would fix things with Katara.

* * *

**A/N** Ha Im writing again! And its so great to be back! I hope you like this story, please leave **REVIEWSSS** and favorite or follow if you think its good. Idk what im doing so yup :P thanks for reading as always :D


End file.
